Mm, it is now a new year. I've sorta concluded (part of my bitterness, i know) that he was just on the rebound. Could be true. He really did just break up with this girlfriend right at that time when it all started too. Oh well, whatever the reason for the start and whatever the reason for the fading, I've decided to close that door. Not that i'm closed off to being his friend but that I'm not going to worry myself over it or let it get to me right at my own self worth and esteem. There is a lot more to life and I will open doors to new things when i see one.

There are many doors besides that I need to close too tho. Ones that involved closing doors on ways of thinking, actions, habits. I sure have my work cut out b/c it defintely will be anything but easy. Sadly, I've already failed that part when it comes to school work. I wasted my break and now I have a pile of work to do by Monday. I'm so scared of myself. I want to start the year off well but it's like I won't even let myself do that. Sad, I am so sad at times.

Someone help me!
Lord, help me!